Why first responders avoid therapy (and why it makes sense)
Why are you avoiding therapy? It’s not because you don’t need it.
Often, I hear from first responders that therapists just don’t get it; they don’t get the culture, the humor, the job. It’s not because counselors are willfully ignorant about first responder culture. A gap exists between the general public and the world inhabited by first responders. The gallow’s humor you use to cope is beneficial. It helps you continue working when you’ve seen the worst of humans.
Your first responder family is indeed family. You are all sisters and brothers, looking out for each other and harassing each other like siblings. A bond formed by shared experience, unbreakable and unknown outside of the station.
Maybe you are worried that seeing a therapist will have negative consequences for your job. The stigma firefighters feel when it comes to therapy is real. Confidentiality in therapy is almost absolute. I am not in your chain of command. I don’t report to your chief. I am accountable to you, myself, and my ethical standards as set by my licensing board. It is normal to have concerns about confidentiality. What happens in therapy stays in the therapy room. You are free to talk about anything. Counseling is a safe space where no one will judge you.
But, aren’t first responders known for their self-reliance? Absolutely. We are the ones people call when they don’t know what else to do. We are “fixers”, solvers of problems. That is what makes first responders incredibly valuable. The ingenuity to find solutions where none seem to exist. It makes sense that you’d think you can handle the stress of the job. We handle a lot.
Therefore, does seeking help make us look weak? No. Mental health is not about an image. It is about your ability to function each day. Have you ever told someone about a call you remember, not a haunting call, just one you remember? Watch their reaction. Most people cannot fathom how we keep working through the trauma. It is okay to not be okay.
This is why working with someone who gets it matters. I’ve been there. I’ve run the same calls, witnessed the same things. You don’t have to explain the job to me. I lived it.
If you’ve been hesitant, you’re not alone.
